Upcoming Labor Day!

So I went to the doctor this morning and he expects that J.T. will be making his debut sometime next week!! Wow, it's getting real now!! From the beginning I thought the baby might be born on the 3rd, since my birthday is on the 3rd of November and Joe's the 3rd of February I thought that'd be kinda cool. So we'll see if my instincts are right!

As wonderful and exciting as this news is (and it really, really is!!) I must admit I'm feeling pretty disheartened right now. To be concise, the issue is with the upcoming "labor day". I've been planning and preparing and honestly getting pretty excited about my plan for a natural, drug-free delivery. After my appointment with my doctor today though, as with every appointment with him, I'm considering abandoning my plans altogether. My doctor is convinced that I'm going to end up with the epidural and consistently tells me to just forget the whole natural plan and take the "easy road" as he even calls it. In addition, it seems that some of the strategies and techniques I've been planning to use during labor to manage the pain will not really be possible in the hospital since I'll be required to be hooked up to monitors at all times. Every obstetrician is different and unfortunately I just happen to have one with a completely different birthing philosophy than I have. I'm discouraged because even though it truly is a deep desire of mine to try as much as possible for as long as possible to deliver this baby naturally, emotionally right now I feel like I don't want the added burden and stress of having to fight my doctor and his procedures, though I have been up to this point. It's just that when the day comes I know I'm going to need an environment that is completely supportive of my desire for a natural birth if there's any chance of me carrying through, and it is clear that the experience I can anticipate at this particular hospital with this particular doctor is not conducive to that. Right now I really feel like saying, "Ok, I'll do it your way. I'll come in right away and get the epidural when it gets too strong. I'll take your directions as to how to deliver my baby," and just be done with it. I feel like conceding now, and not during labor, is the option that affords the most peace and least tension. But at the same time, I am so frustrated that I am questioning my plans and second guessing myself now, with only about a week to go.

I know it is in the Lord's hands, and that regardless of what my doctor says or what my emotions suggest, I can trust that He is holding me and that He is in control, no one else. Lord help me to know your will and to do it wholeheartedly.

One Week Closer...

Happy 38 weeks of pregnancy to me!! So here we are, full term now, and ready to go whenever J.T. is. Sometimes I still don't fully grasp that I am literally days away from being a mother and having a son. Life is so wonderfully crazy, isn't it?

I've been feeling great now that I'm in the home stretch. This time last week I was slowly getting miserable because my discomforts were multiplying and I couldn't get much meaningful sleep. But I've been doing better lately, possibly just a result of getting used to things though also because as Thanksgiving is approaching as well as many family birthdays I have been distracted and have been more active. What has me REALLY excited is that Joe may be able to come down as soon as one week from now!!! Having him here, and even just the anticipation of him possibly coming soon, is enough to lift my spirits so that I virtually forget about any discomforts I may be having and am probably even okay in the event that I stay pregnant past my due date...that will just be more hubby and me time!!

In the meantime everything in the room is ready, all bags are packed, and we really are ready to go. My next appointment is on Wednesday and I hope to get an idea of when the doctor thinks labor might start. Until then, I'm enjoying this time and looking forward to Thanksgiving, with so much to be thankful for!! :)

Getting Closer!!

Another week closer!!! Joseph Taylor should be here in about 3 weeks or so, and I am getting really excited to meet him! It's still somewhat surreal that all this is happening and that so much is about to happen, but I'm so thrilled about this time in our lives.

Joe came down for a visit this past weekend!!! Oh how wonderful it was to spend time together again...truly the last time before the baby is here! His trip was a birthday present to me and, though it was a short 4 days, was the best present I could have asked for. He assembled the rocking chair and installed the car seat and though he managed to get out of watching any of the childbirth preparation videos I had planned for him, we are both just about ready for J.T.'s arrival. Joe asks pretty often now how I'm feeling and if I think I'm going to have the baby soon, so he's really ready for it to happen. I went to the doctor today and he said everything looks good and I should be set to deliver around the end of November/early December, which is nothing new but still good since I'm on track. My weight actually went down since last week, a change from the 2 pounds I've been gaining each week. I've read that weight stabilization happens at the very end and is a sign that my body and the baby are getting ready, so yay! Though it could be a result of the extra exercise I got (bowling and longer walks) while Joe was here.

God has been preparing my heart for childbirth. I felt Him impress on me a couple weeks ago that if I will take up the challenge, He plans to be there in the midst of every contraction and if I am willing to persevere and work through the pain to look for Him, I will find Him and will experience the amazing intimacy of falling into His arms and drawing from His strength. I feel Him challenging me by letting me know that this can be one of the most supernatural experiences I will have during my time on earth, and that it will be up to me to embrace it. When He puts it that way, of course I want to go for it!! I want to experience God intimately in the midst of the pain, and I want to look back at my birth experience as one of the most intensely close encounters I've ever had with my King. So in these last few weeks before the big day, I am asking Him to prepare my heart so that I will have the perseverance (not usually my strongest suit) to take hold of all that the Lord has for me.

Well there are baby clothes in the dryer that need to be folded and put away to be completely ready for when J.T. gets here. I better get to that while any semblance of a nesting instinct is present :)

Prayer for the President-Elect

I read the following on a blog and am aligning my heart to pray this prayer.

Sovereign Lord, we pray for President-Elect Barack Obama.
We ask:

That You, the infinite font of wisdom, might grant him wisdom daily.

That You, the loving God of all, might grant him love for you and for others, including our enemies.

That You, the holy and righteous God of justice, might empower him to do what is right in all that he does.

That You, the Lord, might grant him the charisma of insight to lead in this turbulent world and time.

That You, the Healer, might grant him the grace of reconciling damaged relations in this country and in the world about us.

That You, the God of Life, might grant him a commitment to act for all -- the unborn and born, the young and old, the civilian and the soldier -- to preserve life and honor that each of us is fashioned in the image of God.

That You, the Father, might grant him the time and wisdom to father his two young daughters and love Michelle, his wife.

And that You, the God of all comfort, might grace him and his family as they mourn the loss of his grandmother.

Lord, hear our prayer.