Well the days actually seem to be going by quite fast lately! Last week my mom/coach and I attended our final childbirth education class. The class was actually really great, and I feel that I learned a great deal and came away with tools and resources that will hopefully help me when it comes time to labor. I'm actually kind of excited to see how I do :)
On Monday we also took a "Baby Care" class. In 2 hours we learned how to care for our newborns. Sound unlikely?? Well, it was certainly a whole lot of information crammed into a short period of time. I came away, honestly, scared to death. Though people have been saying it and warning me for months now of what life will be like once the baby is here, it suddenly hit me that truly, in a matter of weeks, I'm going to try to function on roughly 2 hour intervals of sleep. The cycle of feeding, burping, changing, sleeping, feeding, etc. is quite dizzying. I sat there wide eyed in the classroom as it sank in that this little thing inside of me, once out, is going to totally dictate my life. Scary. I know I'm going to just love him so much, and that something in me (and divine) will kick in to give me the strength to handle it, but I'm preparing myself for the reality of what life with a newborn, as a first time mom, is likely to be. Now I think I'm trying to enjoy my last few weeks of pregnancy as much as possible, and now the time seems to be flying.
I had an ultrasound the other day, and Joseph Taylor seems to be growing quite perfectly! He's predicted to be about 5 lbs. 3 oz. right now, and the radiologist said she could see fuzzy hair on his head! Joe thinks for sure he'll come out with blond hair, and I'm hoping he does. I'm already one centimeter dilated (is that TMI? I went back and forth but decided it's part of the wonderful narrative of birth!!) which I found quite encouraging! I'm going to keep walking and doing my exercises and hope that my body will in fact progress through as much of the pre-labor (and ultimately, labor) process as possible while it remains painless. I really am so curious to see how my whole birthing experience ends up playing out. I'm open to whatever happens, and I know God has it completely under control. I'm just curious to find out the details! And I'm sure as soon as it starts some of that curiosity will fade until it's gone altogether and all I want is for it to be over.
All right, enough birth talk for now. I'll be back with more excessive information as it becomes available :)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Some Thoughts (and Emotions)
I truly cannot wait to become a mother. In so many ways I feel that some of my deepest desires, to nurture and love a child that I had a part in creating, are about to be realized in just a few short weeks. At the same time, in many ways this is incredibly overwhelming. That's where I am right now, trying not to feel overwhelmed, reminding myself that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." It's funny how I can remember rehearsing that verse over and over again in my head to get me through the mile run in middle school, and now I'm turning to it to find the strength to be a mother. I love how relevant and perfect God's Word is!
I'm fighting the urge to feel overwhelmed because as I was praying this morning, I realized how much I need God to change me. Though He has changed me in many ways, it seems there are many more areas that need more changing than ever before. This morning I was convicted about the ways I need God to change me into a better wife, and thus began the overwhelming-ness. I fall so short of the woman God wants me to be, and specifically of the wife He has called me to be. God needs to be constantly working on me to get me closer to that person, really to get me closer to resembling Christ. The problem is that change takes work, on the part of the Spirit and myself, and I feel that lately I haven't been holding up my end of the bargain. I haven't been aggressively asking God to change me, sometimes not even sincerely wanting Him to. So as I realize how deliberate I must be in working toward and allowing myself to be transformed into that seemingly unattainable Proverbs 31 woman, I'm reminded of how painful these processes usually are. So worth it and so necessary, but so painful to have my heart exposed for what it is and stripped of all the junk it's been clinging to. Still I've gone through this heart surgery with God before, and I know he provides His grace as a small dose of anesthesia so that we can survive the process.
Though now I feel I must undergo double heart surgery. I have so much to learn, still, about being a wife, and EVERYTHING to learn about being a mother. Honestly I don't think I'll ever feel ashamed if all I ever do for a living is be a wife and mother. At this point I certainly can't conceive being both in addition to someone's employee.
There is so much to learn, and I feel like a pre-schooler in a PhD program. But I know this truth: God is good. He is a perfect teacher. All He does He does with love. I could not go through this process with anyone other than Him. I can trust Him. And I can trust that "He who began a good work within me will carry it through to completion." Praise the Lord!
I'm fighting the urge to feel overwhelmed because as I was praying this morning, I realized how much I need God to change me. Though He has changed me in many ways, it seems there are many more areas that need more changing than ever before. This morning I was convicted about the ways I need God to change me into a better wife, and thus began the overwhelming-ness. I fall so short of the woman God wants me to be, and specifically of the wife He has called me to be. God needs to be constantly working on me to get me closer to that person, really to get me closer to resembling Christ. The problem is that change takes work, on the part of the Spirit and myself, and I feel that lately I haven't been holding up my end of the bargain. I haven't been aggressively asking God to change me, sometimes not even sincerely wanting Him to. So as I realize how deliberate I must be in working toward and allowing myself to be transformed into that seemingly unattainable Proverbs 31 woman, I'm reminded of how painful these processes usually are. So worth it and so necessary, but so painful to have my heart exposed for what it is and stripped of all the junk it's been clinging to. Still I've gone through this heart surgery with God before, and I know he provides His grace as a small dose of anesthesia so that we can survive the process.
Though now I feel I must undergo double heart surgery. I have so much to learn, still, about being a wife, and EVERYTHING to learn about being a mother. Honestly I don't think I'll ever feel ashamed if all I ever do for a living is be a wife and mother. At this point I certainly can't conceive being both in addition to someone's employee.
There is so much to learn, and I feel like a pre-schooler in a PhD program. But I know this truth: God is good. He is a perfect teacher. All He does He does with love. I could not go through this process with anyone other than Him. I can trust Him. And I can trust that "He who began a good work within me will carry it through to completion." Praise the Lord!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Waiting for Baby...
So I am just over 32 weeks pregnant and so incredibly excited to meet baby J.T. (for Joseph Taylor, NOT Justin Timberlake) !!! I have been blessed with a very complications-free pregnancy, (morning sickness now a thing of the past, praise Jesus!!) and have really enjoyed watching my body undergo this incredible transformation. It is amazing to feel a life growing inside you!! J.T. is getting so strong, I can feel it by the intensity of his jabs and punches. I am just so excited to see him for the first time and finally hold him in my arms. I can't imagine what an overwhelming experience that is going to be, but I can't wait.
I must be honest, I also can't wait to have my body all to myself again :). My digestive system just isn't the same, and I look forward to enjoying food again some day soon. I also miss taking deep breaths now that the baby is crowding in on my lungs. I miss being active, which has been redefined since becoming pregnant. I actually can't wait to go for a run, and that might be the first time in my life that that's the case. And I really can't wait to lay on my stomach again, or my back even. I think as soon as I'm recovered I'm gonna find a little hill and do barrel rolls down it. Still I'm trying to really soak in this time because inevitably it will be over and I will never get the experience of my first pregnancy back again.
I have been taking childbirth education classes with my mom, who will hopefully be coaching me through a natural delivery. With all the preparations I've been going through to get ready for labor and delivery, the most significant one is really praying and asking God for His strength, and particularly that He would prepare me for the delivery He knows is going to take place. I'm looking forward to the experience of giving birth, regardless of the circumstances that will ultimately define it. What an amazing privilege I have as a woman to join in the toil and struggle of bringing life into this world! There are so many lessons to be learned from this experience, both natural and spiritual, and God is slowly walking me through them. Maybe by around the sixth kid I'll have it somewhat figured out!! :)
I miss that Joe and I can't be together during this time, but we have been enjoying it nonetheless even while we're apart. Though it stinks not being together, we know it could be worse, we could have no communication and so we're grateful to still be able to talk for hours each day. I can't believe that soon I'll be making the phone call to tell him, "I'm in labor, get down here NOW!!" How quickly our lives will change in just a matter of hours!
Though Joe and I have to be apart, I'm so blessed to be here with my family during this time. Their support is invaluable, and I know it will continue to be when it comes time to bring J.T. home and Joe and I learn exactly what we're supposed to do with a newborn. God's blessings truly are abundant on us.
So obviously I only have baby on the mind these days, and that pretty much does sum it up. I'm going to try to keep blogging in the next coming weeks to keep track of the experience of anticipating the birth of our first precious child. I hope that once he's here this blog will also serve to keep everyone updated on how we're doing!!
I must be honest, I also can't wait to have my body all to myself again :). My digestive system just isn't the same, and I look forward to enjoying food again some day soon. I also miss taking deep breaths now that the baby is crowding in on my lungs. I miss being active, which has been redefined since becoming pregnant. I actually can't wait to go for a run, and that might be the first time in my life that that's the case. And I really can't wait to lay on my stomach again, or my back even. I think as soon as I'm recovered I'm gonna find a little hill and do barrel rolls down it. Still I'm trying to really soak in this time because inevitably it will be over and I will never get the experience of my first pregnancy back again.
I have been taking childbirth education classes with my mom, who will hopefully be coaching me through a natural delivery. With all the preparations I've been going through to get ready for labor and delivery, the most significant one is really praying and asking God for His strength, and particularly that He would prepare me for the delivery He knows is going to take place. I'm looking forward to the experience of giving birth, regardless of the circumstances that will ultimately define it. What an amazing privilege I have as a woman to join in the toil and struggle of bringing life into this world! There are so many lessons to be learned from this experience, both natural and spiritual, and God is slowly walking me through them. Maybe by around the sixth kid I'll have it somewhat figured out!! :)
I miss that Joe and I can't be together during this time, but we have been enjoying it nonetheless even while we're apart. Though it stinks not being together, we know it could be worse, we could have no communication and so we're grateful to still be able to talk for hours each day. I can't believe that soon I'll be making the phone call to tell him, "I'm in labor, get down here NOW!!" How quickly our lives will change in just a matter of hours!
Though Joe and I have to be apart, I'm so blessed to be here with my family during this time. Their support is invaluable, and I know it will continue to be when it comes time to bring J.T. home and Joe and I learn exactly what we're supposed to do with a newborn. God's blessings truly are abundant on us.
So obviously I only have baby on the mind these days, and that pretty much does sum it up. I'm going to try to keep blogging in the next coming weeks to keep track of the experience of anticipating the birth of our first precious child. I hope that once he's here this blog will also serve to keep everyone updated on how we're doing!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
