Summing up the past 11 months...

So technically it hasn't even been a year since I last blogged, which I'm taking as quite an accomplishment. I don't even know that anyone will even read this any more, but I think it's good that I try to write anyway.

JT turned 11 months yesterday. I am shocked. Joe put it in terms that really freaked me out when he said "That's more than 5% of the time he'll be under our care that's already passed." What?? 5%?? Really, in less than a year?? When I did the math and saw that he was right, I once again couldn't believe how truly fast time goes with a child. He will never be this little again, and he has already grown so very much!

So much has changed with me as a mother in the past 11 months. I have come a really long way and still have far to go. Mostly, I am in a place where God has opened my eyes to the incredible calling that is motherhood, and my heart responds with thrill and excitement in wanting to accept the call and do it to the best of my ability and to His utmost glory.

How neat it is to stay at home with your child. JT is my little companion. We spend nearly every second of every day together. I love that. I love that I get to live every moment of his life, at least for now. And I love that he enjoys my company (I hear that changes faster than you know it, too). I am amazed at how much joy one child can bring without trying to or even knowing he's doing it. Truly children are gifts from the Lord, and gifts that keep on giving. When JT comes up to me and gives me a 'besito' (kiss in Spanish, we're working on being bilingual!) it absolutely melts my heart. I literally see the love he has for me in his eyes. And he is such a wonderful baby. I hope all our babies are relatively easy as far as temperament goes, though I know each individual is different even from birth. But I'm really enjoying JT's relatively easy-going personality and the joy he exudes and he discovers the world around him.

I used to be afraid that once I became a mother I would be so consumed with the day to day responsibilities that the job entails that I would struggle to find adequate time to spend with the Lord, and even with my husband. But I am amazed at how God worked out this whole design. He has shown me that time with Him is not a separate item to put on my daily to-do list. Continually He proves that He is in everything, in every moment. If I just ask Him each morning to open my eyes to Him throughout the day, I see Him and hear Him speak in the most mundane of circumstances. When I change JT's diaper and he squirms and fights to get loose, God gently points out that many times when He's trying to change me, to clean away my filth, I, too squirm to get away, or pitch a little fit. I'd rather sit in my own muck than let the One who loves me and takes care of me do what He does best and what He knows is best for me. When I do get those unsolicited kisses from JT, I'm prompted to turn right around and offer God a random "I love you" or shout of praise, because I'm reminded that, just like me, He really enjoys hearing it just because, and not always when we need something. I could go on, but I won't here. But I daily blessed by and through this little boy in my life.

God has been working on me in many ways in the last several months. I am excited because I see how He improving who I am as a wife and mother, though many times I get discouraged because I see how far I have to go. But I am encouraged, because the Lord is dealing with me, and there is nothing else I could ask for. Oh, how He loves us! Thank you, Jesus, for dying on that cross in our place, and for not leaving us to live life alone, but for sending us your Spirit to walk us through each step of the way.

I am very much enjoying this journey...